So I have a workaround for this.
first, comment out two patches:
vi apps/frappe/frappe/patches.txt
comment out:
frappe.patches.v9_1.resave_domain_settings
frappe.patches.v9_1.revert_domain_settings
in frappe-bench/apps/frappe execute
git status
git commit
to add the modified patches.txt into the master.
run bench update - for me this was now sucessful
run bench update --reset
this will remove the commit and the pathes are applied, in my case without problem.
Then I ran into another issue. but this is solved in